There are a lot of things I can do with beads in ten minutes that the average person would never think to do. As for the bead bracelets my sister owns I would take the bead bracelets and snap the strings that hold the beads together. The beads then could be used as action figures that I could recreate the civil war with. The beads on the floor could be used to keep burglars from breaking into my house during the holiday season and bring me amusing relief as I high five Macaulay Culkin. An average person wears bead bracelets for beautification. I am not an typical person.
Beads from the funky bead bracelets on my sister’s little forearm are excellent ammo when hitting Mr. Wilson’s house with my sling shot. I take the tiny beads designed like Rip Van Winkle and sling them through his window and into his chicken noodle cream broth. The beads would go disregarded as Mr. Wilson scooped into his mouth the tiny versions of men. Beads can be enjoyable especially when they enter the hands of the right person. Bead bracelets as designer wear? I don’t think so. I would much rather take bead bracelets and decorate a Christmas tree or my dog. How funny would it be to see a hairy dog dressed like jack Sparrow with beads hanging from his chops?
What is with Jack Sparrow and those beads in his locks? I don’t know if he is Jamaican or English or what but he likes to wear beads. His arms are covered in bead bracelets and I am not sure what to think of the chap. Bead bracelets are for girls I thought? Beads are for arts and crafts at the age of seven. Beads and bead bracelets Captain Sparrow are not for adult men with a stabilization issue. Stop drinking rum and pull the beads out of your air immediately! I don’t get the chic of people nowadays either. Is it okay to wear girls clothing if you’re a teenage boy? I don’t get it, not one bit.
As for the beads and bead bracelets craze, my wife has succumbed to the fad of wearing the beads and collecting them as if they were Pokemon. Choosing beads to go on your bead bracelets as if they were the hides of creatures defeated in battle. I would make sure to have beads of all sorts of creatures like a yak or a caribou. Beads should not just be a designer piece they should be an award of bravery like badges on a cub scout. I would wear my beads proudly and strap my bead bracelets to my body like an Indian soldier.
What if beads gathered people? I could imagine bead bracelets of people strapped to the metal or plastic arms of the patterns we make. If there were human beads I think they would be designed after the celebrities we covet rather than the regular people. Female beads would wear the human beads of Johnny Depp and Billy Dee Williams or even Zach Galifinakis. Male beads could have the female beads of such famous persons like Lindsey Lohan or Cameron Diaz. The insanity over beads and bead bracelets should imitate the insanity of the wearer. What could you do with the beads of your bead bracelets with some time and imagination?
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